We are continuing our conversation on the power of self-talk from last week. Why am I choosing the same subject? We are often told that self-talk is essential. Still, I believe it's time we understood the impact it has on everything we do, how we feel each day, and how we react in situations.
I often wonder why it can be so easy to do a 'big clear out' of all the cupboards and get the house sorted again, but we don't think about the clutter in our heads.
I've been watching this gentleman who lives close to my home and likes to collect and keep anything. You see him driving around, sifting through curb-side collections, checking they are good, and cleaning them up a little with the small polish cloth he takes everywhere. His home is overflowing, and he knows he has a compulsive need to collect and keep things. He has had a few court cases asking him to clear away the clutter, and each time he takes stuff out to his own curb for collection, you slowly see him returning and returning it. By the end of the day, you see him perform the same ritual dozens of times: walking back, checking, thinking "this thing" might have some use, and holding onto it again.
I often think of his home as representing our minds, filled with so much stuff, bursting with chatter, beliefs, thoughts, assumptions, emotions, and history. The sad truth is, this man is lovely and kind, always saying nice things and very peaceful. So, has he just reversed the clutter from being inside of him to the outside? Who knows? But if our minds looked like his house, I know you would want to do something about it—you would definitely want to clear it out.
And yet, we so easily do this for our homes—the feeling that after Christmas, everything needs to be stored, packed away, toys sorted out and split into charity, bin, or keep—because we want to feel clear and clutter-free, right?
Now I ask you—are you willing to do this for your mind?
When we can't see something, we easily brush it aside, hide it under the couch, or close the drawer. But the mind doesn't accept simply pushing things down. It eventually needs to find a way to empty out, and it can often appear throughout our day. A comment at work that leads you to self-doubt for an hour, a reaction from your partner that leaves you seething—"Wait till I get home!" The unintentional comment from your kids leaves you hot and angry, then feeling unloved and unworthy all in the same breath. You cannot keep pushing down the junk, hiding from your thoughts, and pretending it will all be okay. It must stop!
If you could see your mind like a version of the cluttered house that has been piling up for years, you would start to do something about it. I think you would want to get clarity, let go of the rubbish, and hold onto the good stuff—the stuff that matters and will help you survive and thrive daily. The stuff that will make you feel you can breathe, feel free, and live aligned to your heart.
You can clear it; you just need to start. One step at a time.
My self-talk clutter can be inconsistent. It can be my number one cheerleader and the biggest bully, all in the same sentence. I understand now that self-talk is often critical and cluttered because a core value of mine is under threat or not being achieved. I've learned this through the years. When my emotions feel out of my control, my behaviours are reactive. I choose unhelpful emotions to deal with a situation, leaving me irritated and affecting those around me.
But it all starts with these fundamental truths: To have better self-talk and to feel free of internal clutter, we need to become aware of the emotions we choose, the language we associate with situations, our core values, and the rules we place around them. If we don't understand these pillars, we will never clear the internal clutter of our minds and the limiting self-talk that so often holds us hostage in our own minds.
We can no longer sit with our heads buried, saying we will try to be kinder to ourselves next time, that we will react in a better way next time, that it was due to (period, feeling bloated, tired, stressed—you name it, insert here) we will do better next time. You might as well live in a house that is overflowing with junk. We have to start having a stern talk with ourselves, not filled with bitterness and hatred, but one that teaches us and be the mirror we need to be brave enough to stand in front of—to stop the hate chatter and the internal narrative that clutters our thinking, and finally understand why it was there in the first place. We need to break it down, face it head-on, and heal those words, finding peace and clearing it out.
I want you to begin decluttering.
As a reader of my letters, you'll know I don't do the "ask" in my letters. But I feel strongly about this. We all need help with our decluttering. I am asking you to seriously consider investing in yourself. Or share this with someone you love who you know needs help clearing the noise, clutter, and rubbish away from their minds. In my 30th letter to you all, I want to be able to give back.
So, I have created a New Year Time to Clear Out the Clutter 6-week program tailored to all the lessons I have discovered. I want to offer you and your friends the program at a 50% discount. I know the year has begun; we have spoiled those we love and might not be able to afford high prices right now, so I want to make it affordable. I want you to be able to say yes to investing in you!
Not only will this be 50% off, but at the end of your six weeks, I will book you in for a one-on-one virtual coaching session with me. This means you will get $600 worth of coaching for just $174.50. I cannot wait to talk to you, help you gain the clarity you seek, shine the light on your life, and lead it with confidence, certainty, and self-belief.
Let's take the steps together and make this year the one where you truly clear the clutter and embrace the freedom to thrive.
All my Love
Me