Okay, so let's get real: how many of you have already been bombarded with gym ads, "2025 get fit" slogans, and "new you" campaigns? I've had about a thousand pop up. As the algorithm dictates—and to be honest, because I did some scrolling on Boxing Day—I'm now inundated with experts promising to help me achieve my goals. Hands up if you've done the same!
But something hit me hard this Boxing Day. My goals have been the same every year since having Amelia: lose weight, get fit, clear my mind.
Through 2023 and 2024, I realised that I'd never figure out what I wanted if I didn't start clearing my mind. My "get fit, lose weight" goals have always been about trying to become someone I used to be. I thought I'd feel like "me" if I could fit into those jeans again.
But in reality, we shouldn't aim to be who we were; instead, we need to love who we are becoming and show up for that person with gratitude and deep admiration.
So, I had to start with my mind first. I needed to clear the clutter, throw out old limiting beliefs and self-talk, and let go of the self-loathing that crept in after eating ice cream or catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I had to address the millions of questions: Am I a good enough mum? A sexy enough wife? A great friend? A decent human being? How would I ever achieve anything if I didn't tackle this toxic internal dialogue?
My New Year's goals (new year, new lessons, right?) have focused on changing my mindset for the past two years. In 2023, I completed my diploma and became a certified Master Coach, which helped me unpack many of my dark moments and clear away the pain of past mistakes. As we started travelling at the end of 2023 and into 2024, I found a resolution that became my favourite: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't be bothered to change it, then stop with the hate." Simple. Right?
This resolution raised thousands of questions about why I disliked certain things. It was often less about the thing itself and more about my self-talk. Once you start listening to your internal dialogue, you realise how angry, hostile, negative, and mean it can be (in fact, research has proven that around 80% of our internal thoughts are negatively orientated). Sometimes, I catch myself and think, "If anyone knew what I was thinking, or if I said this to someone else, I'd be very lonely."
In 2024, I worked on unpicking those nasty voices. I realised we often bury negativity by staying busy, eating, drinking, or distracting ourselves. But with patience and tears, I faced these voices. Matrix Therapy, my favourite modality to give and receive, has been transformative. Understanding past events and readjusting for the future is so powerful. Whenever I'm honest about a limiting belief or self-loathing thought, I forgive myself, understand why I felt that way, love my past self (at every age), and move forward. It's like taking a deep, freeing breath every single time. The relief in my shoulders, the lightness in my chest, and the clarity in my head are glorious.
When I describe my self-talk now, it's evolved from a toxic, vomit-inducing cocktail—the kind you swore off after a night out in your twenties—to a bubbling prosecco. It's cheeky, full of life and fizz, but sometimes, it still gives me a headache. That's okay. I'm still working on those voices, but the process is quicker, the lessons come easier, and the kindness I show myself is something I'd be proud to share with others.
I'm sharing this honest part of my journey because it's not all fizz and fun, and that's okay. We all have flaws and things we're working on. Now, as I scroll for new ways to feel younger, lose weight, and get fit, I'm doing it with the deepest love for myself—for the joy of who I am now, the woman I'm becoming, and the opportunity to shine from within—not for anyone else, but for me.
So, my New Year's resolution? I want to share what I've learnt with as many of you as possible. To inspire joy, light, and love in everyone I meet. I want to help those ready to clear their internal clutter. We all deserve a kinder internal voice, better beliefs, and self-talk that inspires us. And to continue bubbling and fizzing into 2025 with laughter, energy, and light. I know I'll stumble. There will be tears. And you know what? That's okay. True happiness comes not just from the highs but also from the lows we face in life and by deliberately making the decision to be kind to ourselves each step—through the good, the bad, and the prickly.
So, let me wish you all a Happy New Year. May this be the year you find what you're looking for? Acknowledge the awesomeness of your life, and love yourself deeply enough to clear your mindset, fall in love with who you are, and be who you want to be in 2025.
With my deepest love,
Me