This week, I wanted to write about a word that has surfaced repeatedly in conversations across the countries we've visited while catching up with family and friends. It evokes a range of emotions, reactions, and ways of living. It feels heavy and almost like a badge of honour worn by many, including myself. And yet, despite its weight, it could work in our favour if only we chose to redefine it.
The truth is, I've noticed how so many of us, myself included, often focus on the profoundly negative impact of this word. We cling to it, using it to justify our behaviours, to feel worthy, and to give our lives a sense of purpose. Without it, we'd struggle to articulate our daily experiences.
So, what is this word? It's an unassuming five-letter word we often use to describe our current work or life situations. It's broad enough to encompass a range of emotions and experiences we find challenging to pinpoint. The word is stress.
Think briefly about how often you hear it—how frequently it describes work, home life, or parenting. I found something fascinating in my search to better understand this word and its physical implications. Originally, "stress" referred to a physical force exerted on the body—a strain that occurred when the body worked hard. Over time, it evolved into a psychological term used to describe many situations.
Interestingly, there are two sides to stress and how it manifests in our minds and bodies. For instance, the "good" stress—the anticipation we feel before a first date, a big race, a competition, or an important job interview. The physical reactions are unmistakable: a faster heartbeat, dry mouth, racing thoughts, and shoulder tension.
And yet, these same physical reactions occur when stress is perceived negatively, especially in today's world. The constant demands of work, parenting, societal expectations, and the inability to disconnect leave us feeling overwhelmed. The difference lies in the meaning we assign to these sensations.
So why do we so readily embrace the negative side of stress? Why do we wear it like a badge of honour? The long-term effects of this mindset are devastating—poor sleep, inflammation, unhealthy habits, chronic pain—yet we persist.
In conversations with friends and family, I realised something troubling. Stress has become a symbol of credibility. What are we even doing if we aren't busy or stressed? Society struggles to understand someone who describes work as productive, energising, and focused. We stumble when someone speaks of life with clear boundaries and a proactive attitude. Their words can feel alien, even unsettling because they challenge the status quo.
Interestingly, I noticed a starkly different perspective during our time in Portugal. My family there doesn't describe their lives as "busy" or "stressful." Yes, they work, raise children, and manage life's responsibilities, but they discuss it differently. Stress, for them, isn't consuming—it's something to move through, adapt to, and use as motivation.
When we allow stress to poison our minds and bodies, we run from it or pile on more to distract ourselves. The consequences are undeniable: poor health, restless nights, and bad decisions. Yet, we continue as though carrying this load proves our worthiness.
Recently, I listened to a podcast featuring Dr. Jim Doty, a Stanford neurosurgeon who shared a striking insight. He explained that every negative thought or statement we entertain adds another brick to the prison we construct for ourselves. By clinging to stress and overwhelm, we essentially build and confine ourselves within this mental prison. But here's the powerful truth: we hold the key to breaking free.
If stress was initially meant to prompt action—if it can indeed be seen as a tool rather than a burden—then isn't it time we rethink how we approach it? Instead of wearing stress as a badge, what if we saw it as an opportunity to pause, reflect, and adapt?
By redefining stress, we could transform our daily lives. We could create fulfilling, energising, liberating, and even fun routines. Our challenges won't consume us but become blips in our lives' broader narrative.
It would be wonderful to train ourselves to experience and define stress differently. By doing so, we would influence not only how we feel but also how we respond to life's inevitable demands.
So, what if we stopped wearing stress as our constant and validating companion, our badge of honour? What if we saw it differently—not as a heavy weight to carry, but as a momentary flag, a signal that something needs our attention? Imagine if, instead of defining our lives as "busy" or "overwhelmed," we allowed ourselves to redefine the narrative—to see life as focused, fulfilling, and energising.
We have the power to step off the hamster wheel of stress and into something greater: a life where we respond with intention, set boundaries, and show up differently. Stress doesn't have to own us. It doesn't have to be the "catch-all" word that describes our lives.
By shifting our perspective, we can reclaim joy in the every day, find calm in the chaos, and live in a way that feels more aligned with the kind of person we want to be. It's not easy—it's a practice—but it starts with a simple decision: to stop seeing stress as an inhibitor and see it as a mobiliser.
Love Me x