When we think of building confidence, it often seems like a distant destination—something we hope to reach one day. We picture it as a state of mind where self-doubt no longer exists, and we can navigate the world with unwavering assurance. But what if confidence isn't a final stop on the map but rather an ever-evolving journey shaped by our brain's capacity to learn and adapt?
The truth is that confidence is not a static trait; it's a skill that we develop over time. And understanding how our brain works can help us appreciate why confidence is less about "arriving" and more about continuously growing.
The Neuroscience Behind Confidence: How Our Brains Learn and Grow
To understand why confidence is a journey, we need to start with the brain—a fascinating organ constantly reshaping itself in response to new experiences, thoughts, and actions. This process is known as neuroplasticity.
Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to reorganise itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. Every time we learn a new skill, adapt to a new situation or even think of a new thought, our brain physically changes. These changes are not instant; they happen gradually, often through repeated practice and reinforcement. Building confidence requires time and effort—literally rewiring our brains.
When you step into a new experience—say, learning a new language, speaking in public, or starting a new job—you're initially in a state of conscious incompetence. You're aware of what you don't know, and this awareness can often trigger feelings of anxiety or self-doubt. But each time you push through the discomfort and practise, your brain creates new pathways that gradually transform incompetence into competence.
Dopamine and the Reward System: The Brain's Confidence Booster
Here's where it gets even more interesting: our brain has a built-in reward system designed to encourage us to keep learning and growing. This system is primarily driven by a neurotransmitter called dopamine.
Dopamine is often referred to as the "feel-good" chemical because it's released in response to rewarding experiences, such as achieving a goal or mastering a new skill. When you do something challenging and succeed—even in a small way—your brain releases dopamine, which makes you feel good. This positive reinforcement encourages you to keep going, pushing you further to confidence.
In fact, studies have shown that when we engage in activities that stretch our capabilities, our brains release more dopamine than when we stick to what we already know. This explains why confidence thrives, not in moments of comfort but when we step outside and take on new challenges.
The Myth of Instant Confidence: Why Patience is Key
Our fast-paced, results-oriented culture often promotes the myth that confidence can be achieved instantly. We're surrounded by messages suggesting that we can suddenly feel self-assured with the right mindset or a few quick hacks. But neuroscience tells a different story—one where patience, perseverance, and practice are essential.
Research shows that the brain requires repetition and time to form new neural connections strong enough to support sustained confidence. Just like a muscle that needs regular exercise to grow, confidence needs continuous nurturing through repeated experiences and conscious effort. When we understand this, we can be more patient with ourselves when confidence feels elusive or fleeting.
Why Confidence Ebbs and Flows: The Role of the Amygdala
It's also essential to recognise that confidence is not linear. We can experience setbacks, doubts, and fears even with a solid foundation. This ebb and flow of confidence can be attributed mainly to the amygdala—the part of our brain responsible for processing emotions, especially those related to fear and anxiety.
The amygdala is like an internal alarm system, constantly scanning for potential threats. When we face new or uncertain situations, the amygdala can trigger a fear response, causing us to doubt ourselves, even if we've successfully navigated similar challenges. Understanding this helps us see that dips in confidence are typical, not signs of failure or inadequacy.
Reframing Confidence: A Journey of Continual Learning
If we start to see confidence as a journey rather than a destination, embracing those moments of uncertainty and doubt becomes easier. Each experience, stumble, and triumph becomes a stepping stone on our path to growth. This allows us to redefine confidence not as an unwavering state but as a willingness to keep moving forward, learning, and adapting.
So, how can we nurture our confidence on this journey?
Practice Self-Compassion: Recognise that building confidence takes time and that making mistakes or feeling uncertain is okay. Self-compassion helps quieten the inner critic that often gets in the way of progress.
Celebrate Small Wins: Remember that every step is part of the journey, no matter how small. Acknowledge your efforts and achievements to reinforce the neural pathways that support confidence.
Stay Curious: Approach new challenges with curiosity rather than fear. Seeing each experience as an opportunity to learn will make you more willing to step outside your comfort zone.
Build a Supportive Environment: Surround yourself with people who encourage growth and provide constructive feedback. A positive environment can significantly affect how we perceive our abilities and progress.
Embracing the Journey of Confidence
Confidence is not something you suddenly possess; it's something you cultivate daily. It's a process of understanding, learning, growing, and adapting—knowing that each stage, from conscious incompetence to unconscious competence, is an essential part of the journey.
So, let's shift our perspective and see confidence for what it truly is: a lifelong exploration, an ever-evolving journey shaped by our brain's incredible capacity to learn, adapt, and thrive. In embracing this journey, we find confidence is not about being fearless but about recognising our fears and moving forward.